I called Gerald.
“He’s got a lot on his plate. Maybe go back to work later. What’s the rush?”
I couldn’t postpone earning my own money because Ryan had other plans.
I called Dana.
“Could you move your appointment? I hate asking, but I need help.”
“Give me 10 minutes,” she said.
At work, I chose the three early shifts.
“What’s the rush?”
Afterward, Dana sat beside me while I called her neighbor about childcare.
Three mornings were available.
The cost for two babies took more of my wages than I’d hoped.
I wrote down what remained for transport, formula, and food.
There was nothing for a rental deposit.
I called her neighbor
“I can give you six weeks in the room,” Dana said. “We’ll share groceries while you’re here.”
“What happens after six weeks?”
“I don’t know yet.”
I looked at the figures again.
Staying with Ryan would be easier to pay for. It would also mean relying on the man who’d just walked out.
“What happens after six weeks?”
***
On Friday, we bought ingredients for dinner.
Back on the porch, Ryan stopped with grocery bags in both hands.
“I need tonight to go smoothly. Understand?”
“Meaning I smile while you tell Mr. Holloway what a devoted family man you are?”
“Don’t start. It was a few women. It’s not like I fell in love.” He laughed. “They were guests, for pity’s sake! I slept with them, and that was all.”
Back on the porch
I stared at him.
“So you risked your job too?”
He shifted the bags.
“And if I lose it, you lose too. You and the girls. So you’re not going to do anything stupid.”
He carried the groceries inside. I stood on the porch a moment longer, and I knew exactly what my next move would be.
“You lose too.”
***
That Friday evening, when Dana arrived to collect the twins, I put my suitcase beside their bags in her trunk.
“You can come now,” she said. “You don’t have to sit through dinner.”
Through the window, I could see Ryan arranging wineglasses.
She was offering everything she could. I wished it were enough to stop me being afraid.
“You can come now,”
I kissed both girls before Dana drove away.
Then I went inside to finish the meal.
***
Mr. Holloway arrived at seven carrying wine.
He shook Ryan’s hand, and Gerald clapped them both on the back.
“A man who puts family first,” Gerald announced over the roast. “This job means he can be here for his wife and daughters.”
“A man who puts family first,”
Mr. Holloway smiled at me. “You must be pleased.”
Ryan grinned.
“Moving ashore gives my family everything they need. Tell him, babe.”
He wanted me to help sell the story, and he trusted my fear of losing his paycheck to keep me smiling.
But I wasn’t going to do that.
“You must be pleased.”
“Have you told Mr. Holloway about the guests?”
Ryan stared at me.
“The women you described on our porch.”
“Claire, come on.”
“This is neither the time nor the place,” Gerald said.
“Have you told Mr. Holloway about the guests?”
I put my phone beside my plate.
Ryan reached toward it.
“You’re really doing this?”
I moved it closer to me and pressed play on the doorbell camera recording of our conversation.
“They were guests, for pity’s sake! I slept with them, and that was all.”
Mr. Holloway looked at Ryan.
“You’re really doing this?”
“That was private,” Ryan said quickly. “We were having an argument. I was winding her up.”
“Were you involved with passengers while you were working aboard?”
Ryan’s shoulders dropped.
“I’m sorry, sir. I made mistakes. It won’t happen again. Please give me another chance.”
I sat holding my phone. He’d found the apology he couldn’t give me at the terminal.
“That was private,”
Mr. Holloway pushed back his chair.
“You know the rules. How could you do this?“
“Please. My girls…”
“You won’t start the shore position Monday. Send me that recording, Claire. I’ll take this up with HR first thing.”
He left his wine untouched and stood.
“You know the rules.”
Ryan followed him to the hall, still talking.
I heard the front door close.
Ryan came back.
“You’ve cost me the job. How are we going to support those girls now?”
My mouth went dry. He was asking the question I hadn’t stopped asking myself.
Ryan came back.
“She’s endangered this whole family,” Gerald said. “To get even.”
I picked up my purse.
“The girls are with Dana. I’m staying there too.”
“For how long?” Ryan demanded.
“She’s given us six weeks.”
“To get even.”
“And then what?” Gerald asked. “Two babies, Claire. This isn’t just about you.”
“I know it isn’t. I tried to work out how to stay, but you care more about your ‘male needs’ than about this family.”
He stepped closer, his face changing.
“I’ll change. I swear. Family comes first from now on.”
“And then what?”
I wanted to believe him.
I wanted the man I’d seen humming to Ava to mean it.
“Stay while we sort it out,” he said. “You don’t have to do this on your own.”
My hand tightened around the purse strap.
If I stayed, I could put off the spare room and the fear of having nowhere to go when the six weeks ended.
“Stay while we sort it out,”
But I’d already seen how easily he broke a promise when keeping it became inconvenient.
“I hope you do change,” I said. “I’m still leaving.”
Gerald started to speak.
I walked out before I could be persuaded to sit down again.
***
Dana’s spare room barely held us. Two portable cribs squeezed between the bed and the window.
“I’m still leaving.”
My suitcase stood against the wall.
That first night, I settled Ava, then Mia, and lay down with my suitcase still unpacked.
Ryan’s dismissal was confirmed on Monday.
I returned to work that week and began arranging the separation.
Money and parenting arrangements remained unresolved. There was still no deposit for a place of our own.
I returned to work
On Monday evening, I was putting away bottles when Dana knocked softly on the bedroom door.
“Come eat.”
Two plates of pasta waited on the kitchen table.
I sat across from her and picked up my fork.
Dana knocked softly on the bedroom door.
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